Friday, 26 February 2016

Anyone, help!

I am one of those people who has spent A LOT of time thinking and questioning about death and even imagining her own death; but never dreamt of it, or wanting it.

But so much shit has happened in my life that I'm questioning whether I even have a life, or if what I thought was 'my life' is actually an illusion, or maybe a delusion .

Because it doesn't seems like living to me. It seems like.... preserving, like....that's the most I can hope for. I'm not old, still very young, in fact, but I'm already so tired. Even getting out of my bed and cleaning myself is like an enormous tasks.

Life seems to be about endurance; not enjoyment, not fulfillment. I don't see the point. Like, why am I here, really? What on earth am I here for?

If someone told me I could go back and undo my birth, I think I might. I really do.

Is that the same thing as wanting to die?
And if so,
What does that mean?


  1. You're alive, but not living.
    Try something new. Anything. Live the moment.
    Find new hobbies. New friends.
    Try to find meaning in your life.
    Ask a question, and try to find the answer.
    Make your own life more interesting.
    Solve some puzzles. Try sudoku.
    Read others' blog. Read comic books.
    Try drawing. Painting. Running.
    Try to come out of your routine.
    Do not run from problems. Face them. Challenge them. Solve them.


    1. Hi Cero! Thank you for commenting on my post. And thank you for the ideas. Ohhh it's been awhile after I do sports. Anyways, thanks again:)

  2. Ying, it has been a long time since I see you!
    I don't know whether I can help but I think just like cero said you should try something new. And if it doesn't work you could move on to another. Don't lose hope on living and remember there is reason why you're still living

    1. Hi! Yeah I know right. Been very busy with college and stuffs lately. Thank you thank you for such sweet words. You giving me hopes! :)

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    1. I'm not interested to make enemy or looking for a fight so I'm just going to assume that you have given words of encouragement to me. Thank you for stopping by Dr Athiqi:)

  4. Yo ying,

    I like how you express your thoughts through the words and could tell your problems, i hope other people with depression may found their way to express themselves.
    Baru je jumpa blog ni, and i like it!

    yeah ying, i think you doing it right, i hope you can strive the best in your life.

    1. Hi again Teesaz! Aw thank you so much! Well actually it's not really easy for me to express myself because most of time I couldn't really tell what I'm feeling. Yeah me too, I'm hoping the same thing. Thank you so much for liking this dead blog hehe again thank you so much! You too alright! :)


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