Wednesday, 24 December 2014


Date my illness was finally printed: Dec 24th, 2013.
It was a year ago today.

Wed, Dec 24th, 2014
11:31 PM.

I'm sitting here, alone, in my bed thinking about how depression has darkened my soul and destroyed my life.

Depression has made my life difficult. I hate depression for putting up a relentless battle, almost winning and often leaving me crying and sobbing. Every part of me wishes I could have taken every punch it sent my way. It's not fair to see someone suffer the way they does. I've watched myself countless times disappear into the thick fog not knowing when I'll return or how I will return. I don't always know how depression work. It work in mysterious and dangerous ways, but I have tried to be understanding.

I'm going to ask you to please go away now, depression. I'm not asking you to go away because I’m not strong enough to fight with you. I'm asking you to go away because it’s time for you to go. I deserves so much more than your dark cloud that follows me around and hinders me from seeing all the light. I know I am much stronger than I gives myself credit for and I am so much stronger than you.

Depression, this is me saying goodbye to you. It might not be today, or tomorrow, or within the next month, but I know that the day will come and I will wake up and say goodbye to you. I will open my eyes and your dark cloud will disappear. The fogs that has always been clogged my mind won't be there anymore. The smile that has gone for almost 5 years will genuinely return to my face. And I will once again feel like the person I was before.

I'm no longer crying. I am no longer depends on the pills, the therapies and the counseling sessions. I am now smiling. On the other hand I actually am glad that you have come to my life. My journey with you has made me appreciate the value of life more than I ever did before:)

Ying Jeffrey.


  1. hmm. did you see the doctor regarding depression? i dont with whom i should meet. depression kills me.. ive been clean for months but now im starting to self harm lagi. haizzzz. semua sebab depression >.<

    1. Yup. I went to a doctor and I told her everything.

  2. very nice post. I have been battling with it too in the past. alot of people are surprised when I tell them because they would have never though I could be like that. Im always happy and smiling, I wish that that day will come very for you too dear. I know its hard, its extremely hard and it took me 2,5 years to fight against it since they officially put it on paper. total I had been depressed for 6 years and it was hard. therefore I wish you all the best, and hope you will be released from it soon :) if there is anything, Im here for you :)
    great blog, very inspiring.


  3. Ying. Dah lama sy tggu new entry awk :)

  4. *speechless*. semoga awak sentiasa kuat ya :))

  5. sorry for asking,was that depression bronchitis.? as the doc prescb. anti-histaminic drug and steroid.Depression only exists as ur mind allows it to,wish u all da best ying.

    1. It's a major depression. Tq for the wish athiqi!! :)

  6. Is that okay to tell everything to do doctor .?

  7. Is that okay to tell everything to do doctor .?


Ruangan ini akan menunjukkan samaada awak bijak, atau sebaliknya.